Friday, November 1, 2013

Five minute Friday

Five minute friday is just a nice way to write for five minutes, no editing, no proof reading, just being free!  If you would like to join or just see what it is all about here is the link: five minute friday!  Enjoy!



They dance around with grace, no care in the world.  They are free, and they are enjoying life.  To be like them would be a blessing.  They are blessing, a true gift from God.  

As I watch them dance around the living room, I want to be like them.  I want to forget all my worries, fears, and everything that is pulling me down.  They are beautiful, twirling around.  They are confident, they don't care what anyone thinks of them.  I pray by the Grace of God that they will be like this for the rest of their life.  That they won't let anyone pull them down.  That they remain strong, confident women.  That they show those with negativity the power of grace and that everyone is unique in their own way.

They keep me afloat along with the one man who loves me unconditionally.  These three are the perfect piece to my heart.  They are my grace when I am down.

Dance forever, love those who don't know what love is, lead them, and help them.  No one can bring you down.  I pray they continue to live their life through God's grace.


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Wordless Wednesday!

I am back after a crazy couple months!  Here are some pictures from our vacation this past summer!

Ocean Isle 2013!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

A crazy two months!

It has been a very crazy two months!  From traveling for both sad and happy occasions, to a hospital visit and an IV for 3 days.

Harly won herself a visit to the E.R. back in March on a Sunday.  After 5 hours in the E.R., we went back to Nani's house.  After a day of not eating, drinking, or peeing, she won an emergency trip to the doctors on Tuesday.  She got an IV and we stayed there for 5 hours getting fluids and antibiotics.  She came home with an IV in and I had to flush it every 4 hours.  Back to the doctors at 8am Wednesday morning to be hooked up to fluids and antibiotics for another 5 hours and waiting for her to pee, and drink something.  Came home again with the IV, mommy flushing it every 4 hours.  Thursday, back at 8am.  From all the fluids she developed pneumonia.  Hooked back up with fluids and antibiotics.  Dr. had a long talk with her about eating and drinking, and not being afraid to use the potty.  She finally got the IV removed that afternoon, but would be going back to the doctors the next week for follow up appointments.

I was an extremely sleep deprived mommy.  My mom and sister came up to help me out.  Daddy took a day off of work, and I missed my other baby.  It was nice having one on one time with Harly, I don't ever get alone time with them individually.  I got a whole week.  But I missed my Zoey so much.

Having to watch your child go through that and being a nurse and knowing what is going on sucks.  It was the hardest thing in the world.  I just wanted to hold her, protect her, comfort her.  I wish she didn't have to go through what she went through, but she had too.  It was the only way she could get better.  If I could have done it at home and avoided the hospital and doctors I would have, but I couldn't.

Harly did awesome.  I was so proud of her.  She did everything she was suppose too and was the bravest little girl ever!  She made me so proud.

Zoey got quality time with Titi, Nani, and Daddy.  She was in great care.  She got to do her favorite thing, SHOP!  She is the shopping queen!  She definitely was jealous and missed her mommy, but I spent much needed quality time with her that weekend!

One of the hardest days out of all this was Thursday.  Everything caught up to Harly and she had a meltdown.  Screaming and crying to where I could not get her to calm down.  I carried her to her room, I sat down on the floor with her in my arms.  She hit me and kicked me over and over for a good 5 minutes.  I let her.  I knew she needed to get her frustrations out.  After 5 minutes she collapsed in my arms and I held her tight and cried with her.  I can't imagine what her mind was going through, how she was processing it.

I wrote this post because I wanted you all to know that you know your own child.  If you feel there is something off with them, if your gut is telling you this, don't sit back on it.  Call the doctor.  No question is a dumb question.  When in doubt just call them, their nurse can answer your question and if it is serious they will get the doctor on the phone.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Once Upon a child and donations

Working on a labor and delivery floor, you hear a ton of stories from the patients.  Some good and some bad.  It can be about anything, but the biggest one is financial hardships.  Some are genuinely struggling, and some are taking advantage of the government.

Hearing these stories from the families who are trying their best to do things right, but are struggling is heartbreaking.  It makes me reflect on how stable our home and finances are for our girls.  I always try to help others and do my best to turn a negative into a positive.

We decided to start going through all the girls stuff.  I was trying to find a good place to send it all and decided on donating some of it and selling some of it to Once upon a child.

We sold the girls infant beddings, high chairs, and some clothes to Once Upon a Child.  We also donated some clothes to Goodwill.  We plan on giving the infant car seats to someone in need (we have all the instructions and checked the expiration dates so it is safe).  We also have two convertible cribs we plan on donating too.

It feels so good to know that I am helping families in need out.  As the girls get older, I hope to set an example for them.  Once the girls understand, we plan on having them donate some toys and clothes every so often and to teach them that there are some families in need (right now we do it for them).

If you have any clothes, toys, or equipment that people may be able to use; please don't toss it.  Donate it to Goodwill or give it to someone.  Please put yourselves in their shoes before throwing things away!

Also if you know anyone in need of cribs or infant car seats, please let me know!

In the end, all I want if for a child to experience happiness.  To see them light up, just like my girls in this picture.  Every child deserves this!

Sunday, January 27, 2013


The girls have been going to school for three weeks now.  They cried the first three days when I dropped them off.  After the third day, they were still sad, but didn't cry when we dropped them off.

Ian does drop offs now and says they are good when they go, no tears, they give him kisses and hugs, and say I love you.  When I pick them up, they are so happy to see me, they come running into my arms.  They always turn and say, "bye friends, I love you, see you tomorrow."  They have a favorite teacher that they hug every day before we leave.  She just adores them too, we really love her!

I had a couple tears those first two weeks, I was upset for not continuing to stay at home with them, but they are so happy there!  I have snuck in a couple times to watch without them seeing me and they are full of smiles.  They are very quiet there though, they don't talk as much, but the teacher says they are the sweetest, most well behaved, and extremely polite kids she has ever met.  That made me feel so good, like I did do something right!

I have also realized that I was being to hard on myself.  they need this, they need to get more comfortable being around other kids.  They are so used to just playing with each other.  I broke down the other morning for the first time since I accepted the job back in December.  Harly was standing in the living room.  I looked at her and could see the tears forming in her sweet brown eyes.  I asked her what was wrong, she looked at me and turned her head like she was embarrassed for crying.  I told her to come to me and held my arms out.  She came running in to them, her lower lip pouting, and tears streaming down.  I held her and we cried, it hurt my heart so bad my chest was tightening.  She looked up at me and said, I love you mommy, you pick me up after nap.  I looked at her and said yes, mommy always comes back to get you.  That was it, tears gone, kisses and hugs.  I feel good about my decision because they are at the age where they can tell me about their day.  They love to talk about their day, they like to feel important now and I love it.  They also tell me everything bad that has happened that day.  There have been a couple times where they have come home and said mommy so and so hit me today, or mommy so and so stepped on my toe.  I always ask them what the outcome was.  They tell me so and so had to apologize and sit in time out.  So I know this was a good age to start them since they can vocalize and tell me.  That makes this experience a little easier.

After these three weeks, I feel that my children appreciate me so much more.  They were definitely getting bored with me at home.  Now they are so happy all the time, cuddling with us so much, always giving us kisses and hugs and they say I love you about a million times a day.  I love them so much.  I never thought I could love someone as much as I love them, and I feel like it is a thousand times more since we started school and work.  It makes you appreciate life, your spouse and children so much more.  It takes all your feelings, and emotions to a whole new level.

This has been an experience, both happy and sad, but in the end everyone is happy and that is all that matters!

Girls:  when you read this, know that in the end this was the best decision for all of us.  I want to be able to be a part of all your school activities, sports, and your life in general!  Know that yes, those two or three days at school are not what we wanted but you both love it, and we love it and love the two teachers who take awesome care of you.  You two are so busy all day playing in the indoor playground that has the big slide, playing dress up, camping, learning about colors and letters, learning about Jesus, arts and crafts, and story time.  You are so busy, you probably don't even realize I am not there!  All I want is the best for you both.  I also want you to be comfortable without me.  you are going to kindergarden in 2 1/2 years and I want you two to be comfortable around children, and to learn to socialize more.  This is the time to start and I know you are getting that experience!  Mommy and daddy are always here for you!  I love you baby girls more than words could ever tell you!

Grown up job!

I made a life changing decision last month.  A decision that affected our little family.  I was offered an amazing opportunity to be a nurse on a labor and delivery floor.  You don't get this opportunity in my field very much,  so yes I jumped on it.  Toughest decision I have had to make since having children.

I have been a part of both perspectives: the stay at home mom and the working mom.  Both of them are extremely hard jobs.  No one has any right saying the stay at home moms have it easier.  That is not true, advice to those of you who say this: do it and then make a comment.  Vice versa: if you are a stay at home mom and are making comments, go to work for a week and tell me how easy it is then.  Both perspectives are tough, it is tough raising children.  It is enjoyable and rewarding, but it is hard work no matter what you do.

We never planned for me to go back to work til our children were all in school.  So it was toughest on my husband.  He understands why I needed to do this and supports me, but I know he is worried about me!

I didn't want to go back and be stuck in an area that I don't want to work in.  I don't do well with change, so if I took a job in the area I didn't want, I wouldn't change and would probably stay there forever.  I have been watching the postings for the past three years.  They are hard to come by in the two areas that I wanted to work in.  Back in November, there was a posting.  I applied just to get an interview and practice.  Well in the end I fell in love with it and accepted the position.

Everyone was questioning my decision from my family, husband, friends, and even my new manager.  When I started my orientation, everyone asked why I went back to work, instead of staying home.  They all looked at me liked I was crazy.  I started second guessing my decision, was I being selfish?  Was it wrong of me to place my kids in someone's else's care instead of mine?

I am not selfish at all.  I have never done anything for me.  I have always done everything for everyone else.  I knew the girls needed to socialize more.  It was just us three, they didn't really play with other kids, no one has ever been the boss of them besides Ian, me, and our parents.

My reasoning for taking this job is:  I wanted to get my foot in the door in this area.  I also wanted to get all my training out of the way.  I want to get a year under my belt so that if we have more kids, I can go PRN.  Where I work PRN is: you only have to work 16 hours a month.  I want to be able to go PRN when the girls start school and/or if we have another child.  This way I am there for them everyday, I can be a classroom mom, I can go on every field trip they take.  If there is a day where there is nothing going on I can work and be done to pick them up from school.  So in the end I am not being selfish, I am doing this so I can continue to be there for them and be involved in their lives!

I will be doing two to three days a week at night.  The girls will go to school from 7-12.  Preschool there is from 9-12 year round.  I have been there for 3 weeks now and love it!  My previous job, I used to want to throw my alarm out the window, I would get so mad when it went off.  I still gave 110% at my previous job, but I was not happy.  With my new job, I wake up before my alarm even goes off.  I am so excited to go to work.  All in all I think I made the right decision for our family!