The girls have been going to school for three weeks now. They cried the first three days when I dropped them off. After the third day, they were still sad, but didn't cry when we dropped them off.
Ian does drop offs now and says they are good when they go, no tears, they give him kisses and hugs, and say I love you. When I pick them up, they are so happy to see me, they come running into my arms. They always turn and say, "bye friends, I love you, see you tomorrow." They have a favorite teacher that they hug every day before we leave. She just adores them too, we really love her!
I had a couple tears those first two weeks, I was upset for not continuing to stay at home with them, but they are so happy there! I have snuck in a couple times to watch without them seeing me and they are full of smiles. They are very quiet there though, they don't talk as much, but the teacher says they are the sweetest, most well behaved, and extremely polite kids she has ever met. That made me feel so good, like I did do something right!
I have also realized that I was being to hard on myself. they need this, they need to get more comfortable being around other kids. They are so used to just playing with each other. I broke down the other morning for the first time since I accepted the job back in December. Harly was standing in the living room. I looked at her and could see the tears forming in her sweet brown eyes. I asked her what was wrong, she looked at me and turned her head like she was embarrassed for crying. I told her to come to me and held my arms out. She came running in to them, her lower lip pouting, and tears streaming down. I held her and we cried, it hurt my heart so bad my chest was tightening. She looked up at me and said, I love you mommy, you pick me up after nap. I looked at her and said yes, mommy always comes back to get you. That was it, tears gone, kisses and hugs. I feel good about my decision because they are at the age where they can tell me about their day. They love to talk about their day, they like to feel important now and I love it. They also tell me everything bad that has happened that day. There have been a couple times where they have come home and said mommy so and so hit me today, or mommy so and so stepped on my toe. I always ask them what the outcome was. They tell me so and so had to apologize and sit in time out. So I know this was a good age to start them since they can vocalize and tell me. That makes this experience a little easier.
After these three weeks, I feel that my children appreciate me so much more. They were definitely getting bored with me at home. Now they are so happy all the time, cuddling with us so much, always giving us kisses and hugs and they say I love you about a million times a day. I love them so much. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love them, and I feel like it is a thousand times more since we started school and work. It makes you appreciate life, your spouse and children so much more. It takes all your feelings, and emotions to a whole new level.
This has been an experience, both happy and sad, but in the end everyone is happy and that is all that matters!
Girls: when you read this, know that in the end this was the best decision for all of us. I want to be able to be a part of all your school activities, sports, and your life in general! Know that yes, those two or three days at school are not what we wanted but you both love it, and we love it and love the two teachers who take awesome care of you. You two are so busy all day playing in the indoor playground that has the big slide, playing dress up, camping, learning about colors and letters, learning about Jesus, arts and crafts, and story time. You are so busy, you probably don't even realize I am not there! All I want is the best for you both. I also want you to be comfortable without me. you are going to kindergarden in 2 1/2 years and I want you two to be comfortable around children, and to learn to socialize more. This is the time to start and I know you are getting that experience! Mommy and daddy are always here for you! I love you baby girls more than words could ever tell you!