Stranger danger

This is part two of my last post. 

We try to teach our kids and instill fear into them about strangers.  We tell them not to talk to strangers.  To never get in the car with a stranger or take candy from a stranger.  Natalie from the Today show just did a segment on this.  But yet we are contradicting ourselves and here is why:

1.  Halloween-  We go out and take candy from strangers.  What is that teaching our children.  We just told them to never take candy from strangers, but its ok if mom or dad is there?  That is making it very confusing for the children
    *Solution for us:  We didn't take the girls to any strangers houses for halloween.  We only went to the neighbors we know and who the girls know.  We will continue this tradition even if it may only be 5 houses.

2. We tell them never to talk to strangers.  But wait, 5 strangers in the store just stopped me and said how cute my kids were, and asked them their names.  I told the girls to say thank you for the comments.  I am telling my children to talk to strangers.  Again contradicting everything that I am trying to teach my children.  So again do I tell them, that they can talk to strangers only when mommy and daddy are around?  These evil people know how to carry on small talk with children to make the children trust them.
     *Solution for us:  I don't have one so if anyone with older children have one please leave a comment or email me!  It would help tremendously!

3. Never go into a strangers vehicle or pet their animals.  With this I have to watch Natalie's segment on that and I will take any advice too.

There is so much more to stranger danger now than when I was a little girl.  I was able to ride up and down the street hang out with friends on the street.  Now its like you can't even leave your yard, let alone be in your front yard.

I am nervous, paranoid, and have a huge fear regarding all of this.  I don't want to instill to much fear into the girls that they will never go outside, leave our side, or withdraw when people talk to them.  I don't want to not instill enough fear into them that they will think it is nothing if someone if a stranger comes up to them.  Which one won't because I will be that parent that is always involved with my children, always outside, never leaving them alone, and all the kids in the neighborhood will hang out at my house.  I am also lucky to have pretty shy girls when it comes to strangers, they always look at me for reassurance which is good.  I hope it stays that way!

How do you talk to your children, and what advice do you give them? 

I leave you with a couple pictures of our precious girls and two of Gavin because I just love him so much too!

Harly

Zoey

Gavin and his adorable big eyes!

Gavin and his mommy!

Strangers

I had a really cute blog for tonight, but something happened today that has kept me from posting my other post.

Our temporary housing is in an apartment complex.  Each building in the complex has 6 apartments.  All doors are outside to enter, so you don't go into a building and walk to your door. They are all private entries.  The girls and I took a long walk today around the whole complex because it was beautiful outside.  They also have a dog park in the complex and the girls are obsessed with watching dogs. 

After our walk we went and sat by the lake to watch the ducks.  As we were sitting, three kids came up to us.  They were 4,5 and their little brother was 2.  They loved the girls and wanted to play with them.  I was looking around for their parents and didn't see them anywhere.  The little boy was running around the lake, through different buildings, and in the street.  I asked the girls where their mom was, they said inside taking care of the baby. 

What hit me the hardest was these little children under the age of six, playing outside with no supervision, in a huge apartment complex, around WATER.  I looked around, they showed me where they live.  It was out of sight from where they were playing, and there was no one sitting on the deck trying to watch them.

These kids came right up to me and the girls with no fear at all.  I also watched them walk up to a man they didn't know because they wanted to pet the dog.  Did these parents teach them stranger danger.  I could have been a bad person and lured them into my house or car.  This man could been a bad guy and snatched them, and no one would have known.  Really, Really, are you SERIOUS?  If you are not going to watch your children, then why have kids?

After this I was a mess, I didn't want to leave these kids outside by themselves, I didn't want to leave this 2 year old by the water, but the girls were ready for dinner.  When we got into the house, Ian called.  He knew something was wrong.  I said the girls and I were playing with 3 little kids.  He asked if I met the parents and I said, "no they weren't there."  He asked where they were.  I said in their apartment and explained to him where it was located.  He said WHAT?!?!  He knew I was upset because I couldn't stay out to watch them.  If I didn't have kids, or they weren't ready to eat dinner I would have stayed and watched those children.

I was so stressed and torn up on the inside.  Am I crazy to fee this way?  You can comment and tell me if I am.  But if you saw the apartment complex and how big it is, someone could just drive through it and snatch a child, there is no dead end, the complex makes a circle.

Harly and Zoey-  You think mommy is going to be crazy about your safety?  Well, I think daddy is going to be ten times worse after our phone convo today!

excuse me?!?

I had my first bad scared for me and my children encounter today.  I took the girls to the outlets to get some winter clothes since it will be in the 40's this weekend.  The double stroller does not fit through some of the stores.  I decided to forget the stroller and strap them to me.  The minute they realized where we were, they kept asking for the "ducks."  Lets just say it was a fast run through Carters and off to the ducks.  I let them walk, while holding my hand to the ducks.  Everything was going great!
I noticed an older woman standing watching us.  It started drizzling and I was trying to round up the girls to walk back to the car.  As I grabbed both their hands from the fence.  This older woman ( I would say mid 60's) walked up to me and said, "I will take her (trying to grab harly's hand) and take care of her, you can start walking with the other one.  In my head, I am fuming and trying to figure out what to say without being mean.  I am sure she was just trying to be nice, but you don't say that to some in this world today.  I looked at her and politely but firmly stated Thank you, but I will take care of my own children. 
The good thing about this situation is my children are going through major stranger anxiety.  Harly grabbed my leg and started crying when this lady tried to reach for her hand.  After realizing Harly wasn't going to give her, her hand; she asked Zoey, "How about you, are you like your sister?"  At that point I just restrapped them to me and walked to the car.

It is a day like today that I am so very afraid of this world, and for my children.  But, that is why I am their mom, to teach them about strangers, and to help them get through this day in age.  I am sure the lady was just being genuine and trying to help me, but you can't trust anyone and I don't want my chidren trusting strangers because of something they say. 

To my girls- daddy and I promise to protect you, but to teach you how to protect yourself.  We promise to teach you about strangers, and what to do when one approaches you.  It is a different world from what I was raised in.  I was able to walk to school, today I would never allow my girls to walk to school.

I love you girls more than anything, and you will probably hate mommy because she will be very over-protective, but that is why I have daddy to calm me.  He is very good when it comes to situations and encounters and he will help me decide what you two are allowed to do and what you are not allowed to do!