I am lucky that is was not in front of strangers, but it was in front of all our baby and mommy play group friends. Today was our Easter party. I knew that today was probably going to be a rough day. They both woke up crying, which they rarely do. We also had a lot of showings over the weekend that took place at naptime. So they didn't really have naps this weekend. If you know my kids, you know they need their sleep!
Every thing was going well. They were playing, and happy. After the Easter egg hunt it all went down hill. For the past year, they have been getting extremely jealous of each other, especially if Ian or I are alone with them. They each want us to themselves. I was holding Harly, and Zoey got upset and started crying. I picked them both up and sat with them, thinking ok, lets just sit on mommy's lap and play with stickers. Well that didn't last real long, they started pushing each other, they didn't want to share mommy. After about 5 minutes of crying (could have been 10 minutes), I was flustered.
At home, I usually just tell them they have to share mommy and remove them both from my lap. Then I get a new toy that we can all play together to distract them, if that doesn't work, I find something for each of them to do on their own. I was so flustered I didn't know what to do. I needed them to understand that they can share me and I wasn't going anywhere. They are deathly afraid that I am going to leave them. They can't be in a room alone without me in it, and if they are, they call out and search for me to make sure I am still around.
I don't know if I handled it the right way today, but I couldn't think at that point. I never prepared myself for a situation like this. A situation where they both break down at the same time in public. They have had breakdowns in public, but not both of them together. What I did: I put both of them down, told them it was time to go bye bye. They both screamed because I put them down, and also I think they were scared I was going without them. I went and got all of our stuff, said a quick goodbye to everyone and started walking to the door. Zoey followed, but Harly wanted me to pick her up. When I started making the door close, she ran to me. The minute we got in the car and I started driving they were happy. Me, I was still so flustered and ready to cry. I am not sure why, I think just from not having a break this weekend and being stressed with all the life changes happening right now in our life. I am sure they sense that too and it doesn't help them.
I don't know if I could have handled the situation differently at that point. They were so worked up, there was no calming them down. They usually calm down rather quickly for me, with daddy, he can calm them down in .2 seconds. I wish daddy was with us today! But, I did the best I could. I didn't want to give in to them and pick them up. I wanted them to learn and understand that they can't fight when they are both on mommy, I want them to know I love them both equally and that mommy can hold them both at the same time. To mommies of twins- twins get jealous, they always have to share you and daddy, they don't get to have you all to themselves. I think the girls are starting to see that. To mommies with different age kids- I am not sure how it works for you guys, any feedback would be great, especially since we will be having more kids at some point! I know they were just over-tired and worn out from the busy weekend, but next time this happens I am a little prepared. Also if it was just one who had a breakdown, I would have handled the situation differently. It would have been easier to calm one down then two. I have a lot of patience, and if I would have gotten a break over the weekend, I probably would of had a lot more patience to deal with them and pull them to a corner for a talk, but my patience was running thin. So the best thing for the three of us was to just leave and go home for a nap.
When we got home: The girls were so happy like nothing ever happened. Not sure if they were just overwhelmed too with all the people there. That could have also been a factor!
|sharing their easter eggs with each other!|
|Harly so happy!|
|Their cheese faces!|
|Sissy was chasing Zoey into the house, they play so nicely at home!|
They slept from 1-4 today and were so happy all evening, so I blame it on the lack of sleep from this weekend! **Any words of wisdom and advice is more than welcome**