Saturday, March 3, 2012

I could hold you in my arms forever...PART 1

I normally wouldn't blog about what I am going to write right now.  This blog I wanted just for my experiences and parenting tips.  Then I looked back at this tough week and what hit me was tonight when my coworker's sister blogged that her daughter who we have been praying for has to battle cancer for the third time at the age of 8.  Your saying in your head right now, 8?  Yes, that is right, and this is her third battle. 

Most of you know, This blog does not list where I live, to protect my children.  I will tell you one thing though, is that I did go to Chardon High a long time ago.  I did know one of the victims family.  I can't describe the pain my heart is in.  I didn't think it would be this hard, but it is.  It has taken a toll on me, on my husband, and my family.  I will not post anything else regarding this matter, except another post on our parenting when it comes to bullying, guns, technology, and talking to our children( at another time).  All I ask of you is to pray for these families as they endure the pain of having to bury their children, that they find strength and peace during this time.  Also pray for the shooter, yes his act was unexcusable, but as one mother of the victim's said you have to forgive to move on and remember the good memories of your child, if you don't forgive you will have hatred in your heart and that is not remembering your child.

What made the week even worse, is something that should not happen to any child.  My coworker, a friend of mine who I love working with has to deal with something no family should be put through.  I can't wrap my head around this.  No child should have to battle cancer 3 times, let alone once.  She beat it at 4 years old, 7 years old, and now round three.  My coworker is an amazing person, her family is strong, her family will get through this and her niece will fight this.  She beat it twice, third times the charm.  8 years old and she is given 3 options, two of them you never want to have to tell your child.  please support this family, you can do so by going to Erin's page

I am fragile, I am weak, I need strength from God right now.  And then I think, why am I asking for strength from Him?  The families dealing with the real thing need Him, I am dealing with the side effects.  I shouldn't be seeking Him right now when there are 5 families who just experienced a tragedy, and 1 family going through their worst nightmare of a horrible disease.

I look at my girls all week, every night when I put them in bed, I have cried, I don't want to put them to bed I don't want to leave them for 12 hours I want to hold them and have them by my side 24 hours a day.  I have cried everytime I have kissed them and hugged them this week.  I want to hold them in my arms forever...

Hug and kiss your kids, even if you are mad at them, even if they are mad at you.  Tell them you love them.  Live day to day, cause you never know when it will be your last.  Don't dwell on the past.  Enjoy the little moments.

I leave you with this:  At the wake on danny's card was a poem about how "God only takes the best." One of the lines that struck me was "  He whispered come with me, with tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away.  Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay...God broke our hearts to prove to us he only takes the best."  Then on the other side it reads:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can and
Wisdom to know the difference

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