Friday, December 9, 2011

Babies, babies, and more babies!

I joined a playgroup last year when the girls were just 10 weeks old.  There were only about 20 members.  Today, I think there are around 62 members!  I absolutely love our playgroup.  I have made some great friendships, my girls have friends, and get to have social interactions with children.  It is so nice to be able to have adult conversations, give advice on raising children, get advice on children and other things, and just being able to have a good time!

Well, pretty much everyone in our playgroup is pregnant, about to give birth, just gave birth, or trying to conceive.  Then there is me.  Everywhere I turn someone is telling me they are pregnant, or you can tell they are.  And it gets me thinking, do I want another one now or not, do I want more ever?  The pros and cons start kicking in, my mind goes crazy.  I go back to thinking about the playgroup.  If I don't have one now, the girls will have their friends they have, but when or if I have another one, the new one won't have anyone their age.  So then that means they will have to hang out with the older kids, they will grow up too fast, and they will only have me to fall back on when the big kids don't want to play with them.  But it is looking like the pros are outweighing the cons and here they are:

* I am happy with my family now.  I love my family of 4.  When I got married, I didn't think I could love anyone as much as I love my husband.  When we found out we were pregnant and having twins, we were shocked but so excited.  Then everything changed, almost losing one, the car accident, early labor, the placenta quitting.  These girls are our life, they are everything to us.  I have so much love for these three people.  Does my heart have more to give to more children? (I know it does, cause we both do want more kids).  The 4 of us are just so happy together, and I don't want to ruin it.

* I have a 75% chance of having twins again.  Twins run in the family.  We were not trying to get pregnant at the time and ended up with twins.  This pregnancy was a surprise.  I have a very high chance of getting pregnant with twins.  I don't know if I would be able to handle a set of toddlers and a set of newborns at the same time.

*The girls are happy 98% of the time. I say 98% because there is that 2% where they are having a bad day.  I am nervous that my next child is going to be a wild, not to happy child.  I really do have great kids, I have been blessed with happy babies!  But, I am also not going to lie and say my children never have bad days ( I will say it is very rare though.)

*I want to go back to school.  I want get my masters degree.  I would like to be a nurse practitioner or a midwife.  If I have another child, there is no way I would be able to do this.

*I would love a boy.  I know my husband would also love to try for a boy. If we don't end up with one that is fine, but it wouldn't hurt to try.  If I had a set of twin boys, I would be happy and we would be done having kids!

*The girls do not let mommy or daddy hold any other babies.  The girls get very upset when we hold other babies.  If I had a baby, it would probably not be pretty.  They are very attached to us right now.

I am happy with the way things are.  My husband and I are just enjoying our girls.  We love every minute of it.  We are comfortable.  We would have a hard time financially also if we added another child right now let alone two if I have twins again.  I don't want to struggle financially, so I will wait!

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